On Friday, along with work and the usual end of the week stuff, Erin and I had some serious adulting to do.

Yup, it was time to grab our pens and masks, drive out to a meeting room to meet with some attorneys and sign our wills. Wooo!

OK, that may sound a little grim. And it very well might qualify as the most grown-up thing I’ve ever done. Except maybe all the times I’ve said “when I was your age,” to my kids, all the times I’ve waited to buy something because I knew I had a coupon at home, and all the times I’ve spent Saturday night falling asleep early watching old episodes of Star Trek.

But in all seriousness, it’s something Erin and I have talked about for a few years. No one ever expects to make an early exit from this world, but everyone does eventually make their way to the door. And no matter how old and healthy anyone is, it’s always a good idea to plan for all possible scenarios. I learned that from Batman.

And admittedly, in the age of COVID, our conversation about doing a will shifted from “yeah, we should do that sometime,” to “yeah, we better do that.” It is emblematic of the scary times we live in. We can’t know what the future holds and wanted to be ready in case the worst should happen.

So we started the process with an attorney Erin knows a few weeks ago. I have to say, even going into it clear headed and open to this kind of discussion, it is pretty surreal going through the nearly infinite number of crazy and grim scenarios you have to make decisions about. It reminded me first of Kramer working on his living will with Elaine.

And then reminded me of the classic SNL sketch where Dana Carvey as Tom Brokaw pretapes an endless string of possible death announcements for Gerald Ford.

But seriously, it does feel good to have it done and our affairs in order, just in case. I’ve heard plenty of stories of families being torn apart fighting over various heirlooms and assets. I would hate to think of the squabbles that would erupt over my early 1990s collection of print editions of The Onion, my Chia Mr. T, or my VHS copy of Red Sonja. 

Also, the One Ring. My precious. I would like that to go to my nephew, Frodo.

And don’t worry, I’ve included all readers of my blog in my will. You’ll all receive something special, but there are a couple of catches. First, I plan to live a very, very long time, so wait up, suckers. Also, you will have to spend the night in a creepy haunted mansion to claim it. Sorry, I don’t make the rules, I’ve seen a lot of movies and that’s just how it works.